TF2 School
by DieCisScum
Summary: The old squad of TF2 players are quitting, so they have to recruit and train new players so they can finally escape the clutches of Administrator.


Administrator's office was quiet in the morning. She knew that quiet meant bad things were about to happen and she was about to be metaphorically bum-fucked (metaphorically, of course. Administrator was a prude in the sack. That's what they say about all sexy ladies, they're very bad in bed. Some say she only did missionary. What a bitch.) Spy came in looking very French. "Omelette du fromage" he said, as was the customary greeting in France. "Omelette du Fromage" said Administrator back to him. Spy took his Pom-Pommed Provocateur off his head and played with the fuzzy Pom, looking like his chicken Mangy, died that morning. "Why the fuck are you here, did Mangy die or something? We can't get you another replacement chicken!" said Administrator, looking angry, but she didn't care, really. "I know she was a good fuck but you overdid her" said Administrator. "No, no. It's not that. Mangy is fine, if a bit sore. We're quitting. All of us" said Spy. "What! You can't do that! How will Gaben get money now?"

"We're very bored with TF2," said Spy. "We have lives too, you know. Also Dota is apparently fun too." Said Spy, dumbly. Spy is very dumb, thought Administrator. How do people even get tired of TF2? It's the best game ever. "You people are all pasty neckbeards with no girlfriends except a Magical Girl Body Pillow, and the one girl with you hasn't douched her vagina in a decade! How will you survive in the outside world?" asked Administrator. "You're right, Administrator, you're always right. But we will find a way, because we all need girlfriends, except that girl who is with us, she is disgusting, and has a bigger neckbeard than me. Maybe we'll wash the Doritos out of our neckbeards one day, too. But we must go, and find a world outside of TF2" Spy said, less dumb. Administrator thought a bit. "Well then. At least find more idiots to give money to us for hats and shit before you go. Train them so they won't be fucking twats, too. I want a full roster before you leave, or else you're here for good." she said, wanting more money so she could buy more dragon dildos for her collection, since men don't want to fuck her because she doesn't do many sex things. "Oh and also, recruit females, because the legbeards will be upon us if we don't" she said, worrying about weird feminists who seriously need to have dick in their life.

Spy nodded, and went out of the room, crying a little. He was sad that he didn't have a girlfriend to backstab. He also wondered how he would get new recruits, especially girls. He didn't know what girls were, but he wanted really badly to do sex with two or three. He thought really hard and really hard until he got a brainboner. He called all the classes to the intel room and told them about what dumb cunt Administrator said. She was such a cunt with a dusty vagina. "We should start a school for the art of TF2," he said finally. Scout was already sleeping, and Pyro was trying to burn something again. But they all got it. Heavy said "In motherland we cut dick off Vladimir and put him in ice" which didn't really make sense, but okay. "However, we still need to get new recruits," said Engineer, touching his teleporter inappropriately. If it had a rape whistle, it would have not blown it, because it is a teleporter and doesn't have a mouth. Suddenly, Medic jumped out his place like a pterodactil lunging for some prehistorical fish and told them: "Ich know was we must do do! Let's convice Ze Administrator to make it F2P!".

They walked back into Administrator's office and told her "We have a great plan to get tons of new players!" they said in unison, because they practiced that line for like 40 minutes before they walked in. Medic took the lead, because he was a smarty pants and a nerd, and it was his idea. "Wir shall make ze TF2 free for all ze plebs!" he said, proud of himself, like he just got laid but we all know that will never happen. Administrator shouted at them "I'm not like you all, you know. I have work to do other than entertain you and your dumb ideas. Besides, how will we feed the Gaben if we make TF2 free? You all know he has an eating disorder."

"Ah, but zat is ze beauty of it, lovely Administrator. We will convince the current players to hate and ostracize the free to play players so they will be forced to go premium! Also, they will be super lame compared to the premium players." Medic said smartly, because he was not stupid. Administrator was wowed by the idea. "Take me now, you devilish German man, you", she said, putting her vagina on the table. It coughed and some dust sprayed out. "No thank you" said Medic, and the team all walked out. Scout said "Ew, did you see that thing? I'm sure it had teeth and shit."

"Hudda hudda." said Pyro, agreeing. Vaginas are scary. If only they were simple, like boobs. Administrator had terrible boobs though.


End file.
